Healing Books, Self-Help

Making Contact – Virginia Satir

Goals For Me

I want to love you without clutching,
appreciate you without judging,
join you without invading,
invite you without demanding,
criticize you without blaming,
and help you without insulting.

If I can have the same from you
then we can truly meet and
enrich each other.


Speak to each other while facing each other and at arms length. Use internal dialogue of feelings rather than meaningless words.

Giving up for the unknown to allow change – anxiety or insecurity.

The Five Freedoms

The freedom to see and hear what is here instead of what should be, was or will be.

The freedom to say what one feels and thinks, instead of what one should.

The freedom to feel what one feels, instead of what one ought.

The freedom to ask for what one wants, instead of always waiting for permission.

The freedom to take risks in one’s own behalf, instead of choosing to be only “secure” and not rocking the boat.


Make small changes a piece at a time rather than in a special way or all in one big chunk. There’s no rush and it’ll be easier to try new things.