Healing, Self-Help

Gratitude vs Complaining

I find myself complaining a lot when I don’t get my way or when I feel like someone has done wrong by me. It’s easy to just go into victim mode and find all the things that are bothering me. Name all the things that the other person is doing to piss me off, to shut me out and to just make my life miserable at the moment. Really, it is just a toxic reaction to someone else’s actions.

I could spend hours complaining in my head about how they are wrong, I am right, how I deserve better and “how could they do this to me?” What does this accomplish though? How does it make me feel physically?

When we complain, we don’t accomplish much other than feeding the stories in our head. They aren’t true, and we’re making a bigger mess of things. Sometimes complaining can help us get our thoughts and wants onto paper so we can go back and read it later. When our minds are clear, it seems like some of the complaints are just crazy talk.

If our goal is to gather our thoughts and come to a clear place in our minds before talking to our partner, we don’t want to present these complaints to them. It makes us sound like a victim and cry baby. And who wants to listen to someone complain? Why not think about what you want, what you need to do to get there and come up with a plan to talk about positive things and positive outcomes. The other person will be a lot more receptive and not want to run and hide from you.

Physically, I feel drained after a few hours of complaining in my head. Have you ever called a friend and they vent or complain about a bad day at work, their ex or just to bitch about the weather? After the conversation is over you are both left feeling like you had a long workout. You end up not wanting to talk to this person in the future because their complaining makes you feel crappy. Complaining in your own head is the same thing. Getting upset and spending hours or days going over it in your head trying to justify why you’re right to feel all of this hurt only drains you more.

When you’re feeling wronged or hurt, just take a few moments to think about something you’re grateful for. It can be unrelated or related. If you’re mad at your spouse, think of things you’re grateful for in the relationship. If it is your kids who have you all up in knots, think about how lucky you are to have them in your life and that they are healthy and alive. Focusing on the good brings back good energy to your body and mind. It helps you stop sweating the small stuff and start looking at the big picture.

If you’re positive, you put out a positive vibe and people want to be around you. Quit your complaining and add a little gratitude into your life!

Gatitude Prompts